Many years ago, my parents sat my brothers and me down and told us they had purchased long-term care insurance. They explained what it was and why they chose it. But what I remember most is something my mom said: “We don’t want you kids changing our diapers.” She said it laughing. But she meant it. At the time, I didn’t think much about the conversation. It wasn’t until years later that I really understood what they were telling us: They had a plan. They wanted support if the

Most people know they should write a will. Yet many never get around to it. Some feel overwhelmed by the legal side of things. Others believe they have plenty of time. And many simply do not know where to start. When I talk with people about planning for death, even if that moment may be many years away, I rarely begin with documents. I begin with a different question. What matters most to you? Before anyone writes a will, it helps to pause and think about values. Who are th

What you and your spouse should know about Social Security if illness or loss changes your plans. Most couples don’t talk about what happens to Social Security if one of them gets really sick or dies. It’s not something we bring up over dinner. But at some point, one of you will need to know. I’ve seen how overwhelming it can be. A spouse is dealing with grief, medical decisions, and legal paperwork. Then Social Security gets added to the mix. Forms, deadlines, confusing ru

Many people say Social Security feels like a puzzle they never learned to solve. The rules can seem complicated, the news can be alarming, and most of us only pay attention as retirement approaches. By then, it is easy to wish we had learned about it sooner. But Social Security is not meant to be confusing. Once you understand the basics, it becomes much easier to follow. When you know how it works, you can make choices with more confidence. This guide walks through those pi

I talk about death for a living. I’ve had conversations with clients, colleagues, and guests on over a hundred podcast episodes. But my own parents? They won’t touch the topic. They’re in their 80s. They don’t have an advance directive. My mom once told me, “It’s too depressing,” and shut the conversation down. She’s even apologized for not listening to my podcast because it feels too close to home. And I get it. I really do. But I also know how important it is to talk about

Picture this: You’re in a hospital room. A loved one is in bed. Machines are beeping. Staff are moving quickly. A doctor turns to the family and asks, “Do you want us to do everything possible?” Everyone looks at each other. No one speaks. No one really knows what everything possible means or what your loved one would want. This situation happens more than people think. Doctors are trained to act. When there’s no clear directive, their default is to do all they can to keep

What you can do now to help your loved ones avoid probate later* Many people believe they have their affairs in order. They may have a will, or they may assume accounts will be transferred to the right people without any trouble. It seems straightforward. Then the family discovers that a few details were missed. In my work as an end-of-life doula, I see how quickly things can get complicated. Families arrive with a binder of papers. As we go through it, small gaps show up. Ma

How to Plan a Funeral That Feels Like You At 21, Ruby Love Cohen walked into a secondhand shop in Copenhagen and found a mint green silk coat with tiny yellow flowers. It was delicate and bright, with a Western cut and an antique charm. She took it back to her room, hung it under a light, and stared at it. “This coat will outlive me,” she told her friend. Then a thought came to her: What if my funeral looked like this? What if it were a fashion exhibition, not a traditional s

You open the letter, read the words, and your heart sinks: your claim has been denied. Whether it’s a procedure you expected to be covered or a medication you’ve relied on, you’re left wondering what to do next. As an end-of-life doula, I support clients through this stress. Advocacy is a part of my work, and helping with insurance denials is a part of that. I’ve seen how confusing, exhausting, and even scary this process can be, especially when someone is already managing a

We don’t like to talk about death. Most people avoid the subject entirely until life forces them to face it. But here’s the truth:...

Choosing a senior living community- assisted living, memory care, or a continuing care retirement community- is a significant...

Starting Your End-of-Life Plan When my dad sat down with a yellow legal pad and his unmistakable chicken scratch to write passwords,...

When Sandy Chen Stokes visited her father in Taiwan, he was already in the ICU—hooked up to machines, unresponsive, and unable to speak...

Medicare can feel like a maze—full of choices, deadlines, and fine print that can make anyone’s head spin. Whether you’re approaching 65,...

What Does a Financial Planner Do? When you think of financial planning, you might picture spreadsheets, investment strategies, and a lot of overwhelming numbers. But as Elliott Appel, founder of Kindness Financial Planning, explains, it’s so much more than that. Financial planning is about aligning your money with your life and values. It’s about creating peace of mind, especially during life’s most challenging moments, like caregiving, aging, or coping with grief. In this

Creating an advance directive is one of the most powerful steps to ensure your healthcare wishes are honored. In this post, we’ll discuss...

I'm an end-of-life doula specializing in helping people plan for the inevitable, including creating an advance directive. When working...

Planning your own funeral might seem uncomfortable at first, but it could be one of the most compassionate things you do for your loved ones. In the latest episode of Comforting Closure - Conversations with a Death Doula , Traci Arieli talks with Ryan Kolstad, founder of Preplanning.me , about why funeral preplanning is more than just an end-of-life task—it’s a way to offer peace and clarity to your family during a time of grief. Is it a good idea to preplan a funeral? W

Facing the reality of end-of-life decisions can be overwhelming, but it's critical to ensure your wishes are honored when the time comes....

Did you know that the average funeral in the United States can cost between $15,000 and $25,000? This staggering amount often leaves...