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When a Loved One Chooses Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD in Canada)




A Quiet Conversation About MAiD 

Medical Assistance in Dying—MAiD—isn’t something most expect to face. It can feel abstract until someone we love brings it up. In Canada, Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD) is a legal, medically supported option for people facing unbearable suffering. But for families, it’s a journey filled with questions, complicated emotions, and often, a search for meaning and connection. 

 

In a recent episode of the Comforting Closure podcast, I spoke with Robin Farr, whose father chose MAiD in 2021. Her story offers insight into the emotional and practical realities of supporting a loved one through this process. 

 

Robin’s Story: Shock, Support, and Saying Goodbye 

Robin learned her father was considering MAiD via email—his way of broaching hard conversations. He had interstitial lung disease and wanted to avoid the painful, suffocating end it would bring. Robin and her siblings supported him, but they assumed it was a far-off conversation. 

 

Then came the call: her father had chosen a date—“next week.” 

In the scramble that followed, Robin found little guidance online. So, she focused on being present. They brought him his favorite lunch. They sat with him. They cried and laughed. He died peacefully, surrounded by love. 

 

A kind doctor promised, “We’ll take care of them,” pointing to the family. But what followed was only a pamphlet. That small gesture, however, led Robin to a Facebook group—and eventually to the MAiD Family Support Society. 

 

Understanding MAiD in Canada 

MAiD is federally legal and publicly funded in Canada. To qualify, a person must be 18+, eligible for healthcare, and facing a grievous and irremediable condition with enduring suffering. Two independent healthcare providers must assess and approve the request. 

 

Unlike in the U.S., where MAiD can be expensive and varies by state, Canada offers the service at no cost. Most provisions are done by a medical practitioner, and consent is confirmed up to the final moment. 

 

Barriers exist—some faith-based facilities refuse to allow MAiD on-site, requiring last-minute transfers. However, overall, access in Canada is consistent and rooted in patient autonomy. 


The Emotional Reality for Families 

Even when a decision makes sense, it doesn’t erase the heartbreak. Families often experience anticipatory grief, guilt, and a tangle of emotions. Robin described feeling relief that her dad wouldn’t suffer and guilt for feeling that relief. 

 

Questions can also arise about whether or how to share the story with others. Some families worry about judgment or cultural stigma. 

Robin’s advice: be gentle with yourself. “There’s no right way to go through this. But you don’t have to go through it in silence.” 

 

Robin’s story concerns love, courage, and finding support when it matters most. If someone you love is considering MAiD, or if you’re carrying the weight of that experience, know that your feelings are valid—and help is available. 

 

Visit MAiD Family Support Society to learn more, or listen to our full conversation on the Comforting Closure podcast. 

 

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