10 Simple Ways to Connect with a Loved One Living with Dementia

https://youtu.be/ecFm5DL1nAE

When someone you love is living with dementia, time together often starts to look different. Conversations may change, and visits may feel stressful. Many families begin to focus on the practical side of care: appointments, medication, and safety. Those things matter. They are part of caring for someone. But the relationship is still there, and there are ways to keep building that connection. 

One caregiver shared a moment that changed how she spent time with her mother. Her mother had started painting in a class at her assisted living community. One day, the paintings looked dull and flat. Instead of rushing her into class, she spent some time with her first. They took a walk. Played a game. Sat together for a while. When her mother started painting again, the artwork changed. The colors were brighter. The paintings were full of energy. That was when she realized something important. She wasn't simply helping her mother; she was part of the experience. She was her mother’s care partner. 

That shift from caregiver to care partner changed the way she spent time with her mother. Instead of focusing only on tasks, she began looking for ways to share moments together. Those small moments helped them stay connected. 

Here are ten simple things you can do to connect with a loved one living with dementia. 

1. Slow down- Many of us move through our day quickly. Appointments, errands, work, and responsibilities fill the schedule. But someone living with dementia often moves at a different pace. When you slow down and match that pace, visits feel calmer. Sit for a few minutes. Let the conversation unfold naturally. Silence is okay. Connection often happens when we stop rushing. 

2. Do something together - Conversation may be challenging with dementia, so shared activities often work better. Take a short walk, listen to music, or look through photographs. The goal is sharing time together. Simple activities create a shared experience. 

3. Ask simple questions - Questions can open the door to connection. Keep them simple and open. Instead of testing memory, try questions like: “What music do you feel like listening to today?” “Would you like to take a walk or sit outside?” “What should we do next?” Curiosity keeps the interaction relaxed. 

4. Stop correcting every detail - It is natural to want to correct mistakes. But constant correction can create frustration for both of you. If your loved one says something inaccurate but harmless, consider letting it go. Focus on the feeling behind the words rather than the facts. The goal is connection, not accuracy. 

5. Bring music into the visit - Music often reaches people even as memory fades. Play songs your loved one enjoyed earlier in life. Sing together if they are open to it. Even humming along can lift the mood.  

6. Notice what they enjoy - Pay attention to what makes your loved one light up. It might be animals, gardening, art, puzzles, or certain types of music. When you notice something they enjoy, return to it again. Those times can become part of a routine you both look forward to. 

7. Focus on feelings, not facts - People living with dementia may forget names or events, but emotional memory often remains strong. Your loved one may not remember the details of the visit later, but they may remember how it felt. If the visit seems warm, calm, and caring, that feeling stays with them. 

8. Keep visits simple - You do not need a complicated plan. A short walk, a shared snack, or sitting together while looking out a window can be enough. Sometimes the simplest visits are the most meaningful. Presence matters more than activity. 

9. Be curious - Instead of trying to guide every moment, try observing and asking questions. What are they interested in today? What catches their attention? What makes them laugh? Curiosity helps you respond to the moment instead of trying to control it. 

10. Give yourself grace - Caregiving is not easy. Many people feel guilt, frustration, or sadness. Some visits will go well. Others may feel difficult. That is part of the experience. Give yourself permission to learn as you go. What matters most is that you keep showing up. 

Even when dementia changes memory, the relationship does not disappear. With patience and attention, you can still share meaningful moments together. Sometimes, connection grows in the smallest moments. 

Links/Resources 

• Guest: Marilyn Raichle - https://dontwalkaway.net 

• Book: Don’t Walk Away by Marilyn Raichle - https://dontwalkaway.net