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10 Meaningful Ways to Build a Personal Village as You Age Solo







Let’s be honest: getting older can be wonderful, but it comes with a few big questions. One of the hardest? 


Who will be there for me when I really need help? 


My husband and I don’t have children unless you count our three cats, who rule the house but won’t be managing our bank accounts or driving us to the doctor. So, like many people, we’re figuring out what it means to age well without that built-in safety net. 


Building community has always been tricky for me. I spent years working in tech, working long hours, having many meetings, and not much left in the tank for making deep friendships. And I’m an introvert by nature, so putting myself out there doesn’t exactly come easy. 


But I’ve come to believe this: we all need a personal village. Not just for emergencies or “when the time comes,” but for everyday connection, support, and peace of mind. 

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone and don’t need to figure it out all at once. Here are 10 ways to build your village in small, meaningful steps. 


1. Make a master list of people and places 

Grab a notebook or open a blank doc and start jotting down names: friends, neighbors, extended family, coworkers, folks from your book club or yoga class - anyone who’s part of your life, even in small ways. 


Also include places: your favorite coffee shop, your faith community, the library, and that animal shelter you keep meaning to volunteer at. This is the beginning of your village map. 

It doesn’t matter if the list is short. You’re just taking stock of who’s already in your world. 


2. Don’t assume - start a quiet conversation 

A lot of us think we know who would show up for us if we needed help, but we don’t always ask. And that can lead to confusion (or disappointment) later. 


Here’s a gentle way to open that door: 

“I’ve been thinking lately—if you ever needed help, like a ride to the doctor or just someone to check in, I’d be happy to be there for you.” 


How someone responds will tell you a lot, and it can help you figure out who belongs in the “core circle” of your personal village. 


3. Join a local group or center you care about 

Start with something you’re genuinely interested in: a senior center, a neighborhood garden club, a meditation circle, a hiking group - or even a community class on something random you’ve always been curious about. 


These are low-pressure places to meet people who might become part of your broader circle. And it’s okay if you don’t connect with anyone right away. The act of showing up is a step forward. 


4. Attend events with a purpose (especially if you’re an introvert) 

Walking into a room full of strangers with no plan? That’s my nightmare scenario. But having a clear role or reason for being there makes it easier. 


Look for events with structure: a speaker, a workshop, or a volunteer shift. When there’s a shared focus, small talk turns into real conversation more naturally, and you don’t have to carry it all yourself. 


5. Consider taking on a small “job” at social events 

This tip came straight from Steve, and I love it. If you’re invited to a gathering or community event, offer to help check people in, serve snacks, or wrangle parking. 


Having a small job gives you a built-in reason to talk to people and removes the awkwardness. You’re not “networking.” You’re being helpful. And that’s a great way to make genuine connections. 


6. Explore support groups or interest-based communities 

Whether it’s caregiving, grief, travel, books, pets, or gardening, there are communities filled with people navigating similar experiences.

 

Support groups can be significant if you’re processing a loss or facing a big life change. Sometimes, the people who start out as strangers in those spaces become the ones you can count on. 


7. Look into the Village Movement or co-housing models 

If you crave deeper connection and shared responsibility, check out concepts like the Village Movement or co-housing communities. These are intentional networks where neighbors support one another - sometimes informally, sometimes through structured programs. 


Even if you’re not ready to make a big move, learning what’s available nearby can spark ideas and introduce you to people who think like you. 


8. Talk to an Aging Life Care Manager 

Not everyone has a friend or relative they trust with future care decisions, and that’s okay. Aging Life Care Managers (also called geriatric care managers) can help you plan and coordinate care when needed. 


Many now offer specific programs for solo agers. Think of them as your future team captain - someone who gets to know you now so they can advocate for you later. 


9. Share your wishes and where your documents live 

If you’ve named someone your healthcare or financial proxy, ensure they know. More importantly, talk with them about what matters to you. What kind of care would you want? Who should be contacted in an emergency? 


Remember to tell them where to find your documents. A conversation today can prevent confusion and stress tomorrow. 


10. Keep track - your “village file” can be your lifeline 

It might feel a little nerdy, but having a spreadsheet, notebook, or folder (physical or digital) where you track your personal village is handy. Include names, roles, contact info, and any relevant notes. 


This list isn’t just for you; it can be a lifesaver for others if you’re ever in a crisis. And it’s a living document. Keep adding to it as your village grows. 


Your village doesn’t have to be big; it just has to be yours. 


Building a personal village isn’t about creating a perfect plan or having dozens of people on call. It’s about slowly and intentionally shaping a life where you feel seen, supported, and connected. 


Whether you’re just starting or already have a few solid people in your corner, every step you take matters. Your future self will thank you - and honestly, your present self might feel a little lighter too. 

 

Links/Resources from Podcast Episode 

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