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AI and Grief: Can Technology Help Us Stay Connected?

  • Jul 9
  • 2 min read

Oren, my husband, and I have had this discussion more than once. When we first talked about it, it felt like something out of science fiction. We’ve been married for over 20 years, and back then, the idea that you could somehow keep talking to someone after they died, through technology, felt far off. Almost unrealistic. But now, reality is starting to catch up. 

The conversation started with a simple question: If one of us died, would we want a way to keep talking to each other via an AI avatar built from our memories? We were curious, but also felt uncomfortable. The avatar wouldn’t actually be him or me. Personally, I believe we have a soul. So whatever this is, it isn’t the person. 


Still, we didn’t dismiss it. If one of us is gone, and the other is left here trying to find relief from the sadness, then maybe it isn’t about whether it’s real. Maybe it’s about whether it helps. 


Complicated Much? (AI and Grief is not simple.)


Any discussion around AI and grief is going to be complicated because we’re not just talking about technology. We’re also talking about love, loss, memory, and what it means to stay connected to someone who is no longer around. Grief was already complicated long before AI showed up. We don’t stop having a relationship with someone just because they’ve died. We think about them. We replay conversations. We talk to them in our heads (or out loud) without even realizing it. That connection doesn’t go away; it just changes.  

And then AI enters the mix. Up until now, the connection had lived only inside us, in our thoughts and memories. But AI doesn’t just hold or replay memories; it responds. 


Could this actually help? 


So… could this actually help? I think it could for some people. Not because it replaces the person. And not because it somehow makes the loss go away. It doesn’t do either of those things. But it might offer a way to continue the relationship, even knowing it isn’t truly them. 

For some, that could mean having conversations that never happened or didn’t get finished. Saying things out loud that have been sitting there. And for others, it might be about having someone to talk to who reflects back the voice, the tone, the personality they remember. Something that keeps the relationship moving rather than feeling like it has stopped completely. It’s not the same relationship. It can’t be. But something responds within us when there’s interaction versus just memory. Maybe that’s what this really offers: not a replacement, just a way to keep that relationship going. 


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