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From Death Sentence to Daily Life: What Almost 40 Years with HIV Looks Like







When Vincent Crisostomo was diagnosed with HIV in 1989, the doctor told him he likely wouldn’t live to see his 30th birthday. He was 28, young and vibrant, and suddenly facing a future that, at the time, came with more fear than hope. 


Today, Vincent is 64. 


He’s outlived the prognosis by decades, but HIV is still part of his daily life. It didn’t disappear when the headlines faded. Even with better treatments, it’s been hard. For Vincent, living with HIV hasn’t just been about staying alive, it's meant finding purpose in a world that once expected him to be gone. 


This is the story of a young man who was told to prepare for death, and instead built a life full of love, community, and meaning. It’s the story of someone growing older with HIV in a world that never expected him to grow old. 


It’s also a reminder that HIV is not just history. 



Then - HIV was a Death Sentence 


In the late 1980s, being diagnosed with HIV wasn’t just frightening, it was isolating. The virus was poorly understood, treatments were limited, and misinformation spread quickly. For many, including Vincent, the diagnosis came with a clear and immediate message: you are not expected to live. 


Vincent was living in New York City when he first learned he was HIV+. He had gone to a public clinic for what he thought was strep throat. He didn’t have insurance, and at the time, there was a myth circulating that Asian men couldn’t get HIV. Because he was a gay man, the clinic tested him. 


When the results came back, the doctor told Vincent that he was HIV+, and then added that he likely wouldn’t make it to 30. 


He was 28. 


There were no support groups or roadmaps. Just a young man, still feeling healthy, trying to process a future that had suddenly gotten much shorter. 



Now - Still Here 


More than thirty years later, Vincent is still here and helping others. He’s now the Director of Aging Services at the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, where he supports a community of long-term survivors who, like him, never expected to grow old. 


New treatments in the 1990s helped HIV become something people could live with. But as the fear faded, so did public attention. Many assumed the crisis was over. 


It wasn’t. 


Long-term survivors still face health issues, emotional trauma, and stigma. Vincent talks about survivor’s guilt: the heaviness of being alive when so many others are not. He’s also focused on the practical needs of older adults with HIV, who are often forgotten within traditional senior care. 


At 64, his questions have changed. He’s no longer asking how long he has left. Now he’s asking: what kind of world do I want to grow old in, and how can I help shape it? 

Vincent’s story is a reminder that life doesn’t stop with a diagnosis. He’s used the time he wasn’t supposed to have to build something lasting, for himself and for others. 


He’s not alone in that. There’s a whole community of people who are still here, still navigating what it means to grow older with HIV.  


HIV and AIDS are still here. So are the people living with it. And their stories matter. 

 

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