Beyond the Veil: How Spiritualism Gave 19th-Century America a New Way to Grieve

In a time before grief therapists, hospice care, and funeral homes, Americans were turning to something a little more… spectral. Picture this: a candlelit parlor, a circle of people clutching hands, and the sound of ghostly rapping on the table. Welcome to the strange world of 19th-century spiritualism - a movement that promised we could still speak to the dead and maybe even find peace in doing so. 

Spiritualism didn’t begin as a formal religion. It started with two teenage sisters in upstate New York and some well-timed ghost knocks. In 1848, Maggie and Kate Fox claimed they could communicate with spirits through a series of mysterious sounds, and it didn’t take long before their eerie talent became a sensation. Whether or not you believed in their gifts, their act struck a cultural nerve. As Smithsonian Magazine notes, the sisters helped ignite a movement that blurred the lines between grief, belief, and performance. 

At its heart, spiritualism was less about proving the afterlife and more about soothing the living. And in a century marked by war, disease, and scientific upheaval, it offered something people desperately needed: connection. 

The Rise of Spiritualism 

Spiritualism’s rise wasn’t just about ghost stories; it was about timing. Mid-19th-century America was a time of change. Science was advancing, religion was splintering, and society was still reeling from the massive losses of the Civil War. Into this chaos stepped the Fox sisters, who claimed to bridge the divide between life and death with little more than a series of knocks. 

What made their message catch fire? For starters, they weren’t alone. Upstate New York, where the sisters lived, was already buzzing with revivalist energy. The region was dubbed the “Burned-Over District” because of its repeated waves of religious fervor. People were primed to believe in new ways of connecting with the divine or the departed. 

And spiritualism offered just that. It wasn’t dogmatic and didn’t require formal education or ordination. Anyone could become a medium. You didn’t need to go to seminary; you just needed a table, some friends, and maybe a little flair for the dramatic. For many, especially women, this wasn’t just a belief system but a rare platform. 

Spiritualism promised that death wasn’t the end of the conversation; it was just a new kind of correspondence, and people were eager to write back. 

Death, Mourning, and Mediums 

In 19th-century America, grief wasn’t just personal - it was public. Black veils, matte mourning pins, and crepe wreaths announced your loss to the world. But spiritualism offered something more profound: a chance to connect with the lost, not just mourn them. 

And here’s where it gets quietly revolutionary. 

Spiritualism gave women something Victorian society rarely did: a voice. Literally. As mediums, women could speak in public, lead gatherings, and claim authority - under the guise of channeling spirits. They weren’t just contacting the dead; they were reclaiming space in the living world. In many ways, the séance circle was one of the few public platforms where a woman’s voice was accepted and sought out. 

It wasn’t just about ghosts. It was about agency. At a time when women couldn’t vote or preach, spiritualism let them lead. In mourning clothes and candlelit parlors, they guided families through grief and, sometimes, into activism. 

Echoes in Modern Grief 

Though the heyday of spiritualism has long passed, its influence lingers in subtle, surprising ways. Today, many people still seek signs from loved ones: a cardinal at the window or a familiar song on the radio. Mediums have TikTok followings, ghost-hunting shows fill streaming platforms, and phrases like “I’m spiritual but not religious” are more common than ever. 

And while séances might not happen in every living room, the underlying need remains the same: people want to feel connected to those they’ve lost. Some turn to grief therapists or support groups. Others still reach for something more mystical. Either way, we’re circling the same question the Victorians asked: Are they still with me? 

Even the rise of death doulas, green burials, and holistic end-of-life care suggests a shift back toward what the Victorians knew well: death as part of life, not hidden from it. 

Spiritualism may have started with creaky floorboards and clever sisters, but it tapped into something universal. In a century marked by upheaval, it gave people structure, meaning, and sometimes even hope. Today, whether through ritual, remembrance, or a whispered “I miss you” into the silence, that longing continues.

Maybe we’re not that different from those candlelit parlors after all.